Aadil is 13. He can't always see the whiteboard at school and struggles to keep up. He says the teacher goes too fast. He's started getting angry with other kids who turn up late and make a lot of noise but then gets told off for shouting at them. The kids are calling him a geek but his behaviour in class is jeopardising his behaviour record. His older brothers have done well at this school (they are sighted) and Aadil doesn't want to seem like the dummy in the family.
Caroline says
Poor Aadil! I suspect he feels like he can't win. On the one hand his classmates think he's trying too hard and on the other his teacher thinks he's the cause of the disruption. Aadil just wants to get on with his work but can't find the right way to get his point across.
What might help Aadil?
Aadil needs to be listened to. He needs a chance to get his frustrations out - some of which are due to struggles to keep up, and others from his annoyance that other pupils are disturbing the lessons. But he needs to be given a chance to do this in more acceptable ways. He's not a natural "troublemaker", but sometimes it looks that way.
Maybe he needs a new functional vision assessment? If he had all the practical help he needed he might not find it so hard to keep up. Is it time to get him a support worker? Or does he need different visual aids? Also, if the disruption by other kids was tackled by the staff his noisy outbursts might not happen. He's drawing the attention because he shouts at others, but he's not always the original problem. Is he also under pressure to achieve by his family? Maybe he's not the only one who doesn't fully accept that his sight is continuing to get worse.
Talking can help
At 13 you're no longer just a kid, but maybe you don't yet know how to deal with problems in a more grown-up way. Speaking to a teacher after class - it could be a different one from the one who you're having the argument with - and explaining that you just want a chance to get on with the work might help. It's not surprising Aadil gets annoyed, but he needs to find a better way of getting understood and that could be by speaking about it when he's NOT angry so that he doesn't feel the need to shout.
It may also be that in some schools, children with "special needs" are often put together, when in fact their needs may be very different. Because Aadil keep's losing his temper instead of knuckling down, and because his work is falling behind due to lack of the right support, he looks like a low achiever - but in fact he's capable of much more. Some of his frustration is because people aren't realising this.
It is sometimes hard to explain all that you are thinking and feeling to adults who are in charge. Feelings, thoughts and behaviours sometimes need separating out. At the moment Aadil's feelings of frustration lead to thoughts about who's to blame (in his mind it's the other pupils and the teachers). Those thoughts lead to behaviour that's getting him the opposite of what he actually wants. Brainstorming different explanations and possible solutions would be very useful, but he probably won't be able to do this until his feelings have first been acknowledged.
This could be done with a teacher; a mentor, a support worker, a parent or an older sibling - he just needs someone to recognise the person beneath the behaviour. At this point, he might even be able to understand that his behaviour isn't acceptable, and that its not all everyone else's fault that he keeps getting told off.
What young people say…
It's no wonder this young man is frustrated. It sounds like he really wants to get on to keep up with his brothers, but the odds are stacked unfairly against him. It is often helpful for the teacher to have a one-to-one chat with a student to identify what practical changes in the classroom would be most suitable and, perhaps most importantly, what the student concerned is most comfortable with. This not only helps the teacher to gain a better understanding of how to teach more inclusively, but also helps the student's self confidence as they learn how to explain what works best for their learning. This gives the student a voice, a say in what support they receive and establishes a good line of communication between the teacher and student so that both are able to negotiate how and what support is needed.
Louise
My advice for Aadil would be to talk to his parents about how he is feeling. If they are aware of this, they could organise a meeting with Aadil's teacher at school to discuss his behaviour. During this meeting, they could ask for him to have a support worker come to the school. If this happened, Aadil would find it easier to keep up with his work and may shout at the other pupils less.
If Aadil is struggling to read the board, he could look at getting a laptop and screen reader so that the teacher could email the work to him. He would find it easier to read, and he might cope with the workload better. If he had a support worker, they could discus the various grants that are available to buy such equipment.
Harriet
Resources
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Get Connected is for young people under 25 and puts you in touch with other organisations that can give specific help or advice. You can search their database or speak to someone by calling 0808 808 4994.
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Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is specially for boys and young men, recognising that they sometimes find it harder to talk about feelings. Contact 0808 802 5858 (London) or 0800 585858 (outside London).