Tasmina is eleven and attends her local primary school. She has albinism, and lately she's come home in tears saying some of her classmates call her names. They call her "old lady" because her hair is white, and say old ladies can't play. They make fun of her dark glasses and yesterday someone pulled her peaked cap off. Mum reminds her that she's special and shouldn't worry. Tasmina wonders what's special about having no one to play with.
Caroline says…
Tasmina must be puzzled - her classmates used to hang out with her without a problem but all of a sudden they have noticed that she looks different. To her, nothing has changed so it's making her very unhappy that they seem to be picking on her. Five year olds just take things as they find them but older children and teenagers take more notice of difference and are sometimes unkind about it.
Tasmina's Mum has always reassured her in the past by saying she's special, but maybe Tasmina now needs to know more about her condition so she can understand why she needs to protect her eyes and skin from the light. If Tasmina understands she will feel more confident and can explain to her friends. Sometimes other children are really just curious but don't know what to say and end up making fun of someone instead.
Perhaps Tasmina's school and other parents can play their part, by helping to explain Tasmina's condition calmly to the other children. That will help the children take it as a matter of fact too. Perhaps her school could be persuaded to do a project on someone like Helen Keller to demonstrate that it's what we do with what we've got that matters...
What young people say…
When I started secondary school the girls used to bully me by making fun of my sticky out teeth and glasses. My parents would tell me the same- that I was special. Like Tasmina I found that hard to accept especially when I felt increasingly lonely. However there is one thing they said which still remains true to this day, which is that the children are jealous. Tasmina's classmates are secretly jealous that she is special and an individual without even trying. I do not resent my disability for making me different, and at times the victim of other people's insecurities, because it has made me a grounded and wise young woman today. It has also prepared me for the tougher tests in life. It has made me a great judge of character, and so I also have loads of mates and each is more kind and loyal then the last.
Georgina Wyatt
When I was at primary school I didn't get much sympathy from children of my own age at playtime. There were a couple of older girls who spent time with me, but apart from that I was often left by myself. I was good friends with the older girls, but I didn't particularly have any close friends that were my own age. I didn't mind this however, because I enjoyed being friends with the older girls and had a good relationship with them.
Harriet Smith
I think what would really help in Tasmina's situation is to have a couple of school lessons dedicated to explaining about how natural physical difference is, be this disability or any other feature of difference. Perhaps a class evaluating what the world would be like if we were all the same could introduce the value of difference. In time, explaining to Tasmina that her difference adds to her understanding, caring and mature outlook is sure to define "special" for her in a way that takes the emphasis away from the actual condition and places it more on the value of her as a wise young lady which puts her above those who pick on her. Who would want to be friends with those who do not respect who you are? Showing her that there are others her age with similar conditions may help her to realise that she's not alone.
Louise Cunningham
Resources
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Kids Health is an American website which has lots of information for young people and a good explanation of Albinism in the 'Health problems' pages.